body love, self appreciation and ending the bullshit cycle of body negativity

As a boudoir photographer, I am often asked, “how did you get to this point of loving yourself and your body?”.

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It’s a long, long, longggggg, story my friends. It’s been a long road. One that is never ending. One that is winding. And one that has been so emotional, for sure. At the risk of sounding like self-promotion(<— trust me, not my goal. This is real, real advice.), it was not until I booked my first boudoir session that my world and the way I viewed my body, and all bodies, changed. For the better. Booking a boudoir session was just the first step. It opened my eyes to many more ways to work on loving myself and ending the self hatred.

I know it sounds crazy, right? Like, “You want me to book a session with YOU , someone who I don’t even know— and you want me to pose in my underwear, and you’re telling me it will change my life for the better and I will love the photos?” kind of crazy. I know. Because I literally hear it all. the. time. I know you have it in you, but do you know you have it in you?

Booking a boudoir session is just a piece of the puzzle though. Truly. Before your session and after your session, touch your body. Not in a sexual way. Literally feel the folds of your skin, your bones, your dimples, and as you do, repeat a mantra to yourself— something like “This body carries me through my life and I love this body.” Feel your skin and your perfect-ness. Loving on it It may take months, even years to get to that point, but you have to start somewhere.

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Look at yourself in the mirror at the start of your day, and find a mantra to say to yourself as you do. Self love affirmations are so important to place into our daily rituals. Self hatred and negative habits are so hard to break. We’ve spent years treating ourselves this way. We have to be patient with ourselves as we break the cycle. Step by step, with patience, love and kindness to yourself, you can do this.


If you’re on social media, follow accounts that showcase people who don’t look like you. People who maybe live in marginalized bodies. Bigger bodies. Normalize ALL bodies by unfollowing the “ideals” and following people who are different. Different abled. Different bodies. Different experiences. Different. It will change everything for you. Not sure who to follow? Feel free to DM me @carrieannekelly and I will give you a list of amazing people who are different and worthy of exposure.

Be kind to yourselves, friends. Take it easy. Let it go. Give yourself permission.


Carrie Anne

Carrie Anne Kelly