traveling for boudoir sessions| oceanside, california boudoir photographer
What else is there to say- Last October, I had the honor of being flown across the country, to my home city of Philadelphia, to work with one of the most amazing humans I have ever worked with. A true honor, to know that someone believed THAT much in my ability to capture them and document a very vulnerable time in their life. Not many people get to experience that feeling, and let me tell you, it is really special.
I don’t like to talk about my client’s or their sessions because I prefer they tell their own stories, BUT, I want to preface this by saying that Leah is a really special human and to have love and support in the form of sharing a piece of her story, and her journey, means the MOST. So, without babbling on and on, I want to introduce you all to Leah. 💕
CW: Pandemic, Disability, Diagnosis, Medical Talk & Hospitals
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Just over 18 months ago (when writing this) I was diagnosed with a rare neurological disease that has altered my life in ways I could’ve never guessed. This is my first time talking publicly about the last 18 months of my life, and for me there’s still a lot I haven’t processed about it; things I may never be ready to really share with the world, and that’s okay. That, at least, is something I’ve come to accept.
Due to the pandemic and quarantine, doctors have been unable to figure out when my symptoms started. But when I went for a walk one day and realized I could no longer walk heel-to-toe or control where my feet landed, I knew something had changed. That day I was helped home by my parents and sat in my driveway and cried.
After that my mobility, sensation, and balance continued to decline. My days consisted of physical therapy and doctors appointments. I started using a cane and leg braces and receiving at-home infusions every three weeks. Due to this diagnosis and the pandemic, my life changed a lot in a relatively small amount of time. I began looking in the mirror and seeing the body I was coming to know but not myself as I knew it. I spent a while trying to accept that, but the disconnect I saw and felt between my body and my soul was, like a lot of this experience, too overwhelming to process.
It was then that I started thinking about doing a boudoir session. I’d done my first boudoir session when I’d been diagnosed with endometriosis in 2017 as a way to process that diagnosis and the emotional and mental reaction I’d had to it. But this time, I was driven by the desire to have an experience for me to be present with my body with the hopes of seeing a bit of my personality peeking back out.
Spoiler alert (!) that’s exactly how Carrie Anne captured me.
I wanted, above all, artful imagery that would show me existing in my changed body, not something that revolved around looking sexy or sensual. As a photographer with experience with boudoir personally and professionally, I thought what I wanted was too much to ask for; so much so that what I had in mind didn’t even feel possible until I found Carrie Anne’s work. Her work was all that and more for me. Her philosophy was everything I hoped for and her messaging felt like it lined up with everything I wanted rather perfectly. The fact that her sessions are completely catered to you with wardrobe suggestions, questionnaires, etc. made the experience one I've truly not seen anywhere else.
Despite all this, I was scared to reach out.
As a Disabled person I was scared to encounter ableism and invalidation. To say that I sent Carrie Anne an abridged version of my life story as a first email is not a stretch. I wanted to feel secure in the fact that I’d covered any and all obstacles that might arise due to my disability and that nothing would be left to the imagination about the situation.
I get teary-eyed thinking about my journey with Carrie Anne because I know in my heart that there does not exist a more perfect human for me to have had the honor of working with.
From her first email to me to our random present day check-ins and chats, Carrie Anne affirmed and supported me every step of the way. With previous experience working with Disabled folks, she knew exactly what to ask and how to ask it to prepare for the session. She made sure that my mobility had been so considered and discussed, within my comfort zone, that it wouldn’t overwhelm my ability to be present during the session.
I even took a bit of a tumble during our session and Carrie Anne offered support, trusted me when I said I was okay and moved on. Now this wouldn’t be the case with every Disabled person, I want to make that clear, but I am the type of person to be outspoken about what I need with people I trust and accept help without feeling shame, because why should I? She was also the best with my Covid safety concerns, especially with the rise of delta cramping our tail-end planning.
I’ll be honest I could write pages filled with reasons why Carrie Anne is just a beautiful human being who offers an amazingly special experience and why you should book with her, but you’d be reading forever. There are so many reviews and blogs out there that talk about the most common reasons why Carrie Anne and her sessions are amazing ( go read them!), so I figured I would focus on the reasons that other people who’ve met and worked with her might not be able to speak to. Carrie Anne has become one of my favorite humans, and one I feel honored to have gone on this journey with. She is truly a beautiful soul with immense talent and an even bigger heart.
Society tells us that just existing and feeling at home in our body is not enough, let alone something to celebrate and have imagery of. But being present in and celebrating our bodies and selves is an absolutely beautiful thing that I truly believe everyone should experience. Fuck what society says about who we “should” be, how we “should” look, and how we “should” behave. Fuck all that and celebrate your presence.
Celebrate yourself with someone who will affirm, support, and consider you every step of the way, because you deserve that and you won’t regret it.
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I want to thank Devon Dadoly for letting me rent their studio for this session, as well as Diana from Onlo Beauty who provided makeup and hair services for Leah.
