Building Strength, Confidence, & Empowerment Through A Boudoir Session | Oceanside, California Boudoir Photographer

Boudoir is a really special + intimate way to be photographed. It’s really important to take your time selecting the perfect photographer for you.

Boudoir is and should always be centered around consent + empowerment.

But what does that mean for you?

It means the photographer is practicing consent in all the ways (not just in person) and not pressuring you in any way throughout the process.

It means the photographer is giving YOU the space to make the best choice for you to feel the most empowered.

I always tell people that inquire with me (on their consult call) “I may not be the photographer for you, and that’s okay. I want you to have the best shoot experience possible.”

And that’s true. I do want you to have the best session experience possible.

And if you do book with me, I take that very seriously and It is the highest honor to be able to lead you through this experience and help you begin your own self love journey. But you have to make that decision for yourself and I will never pressure you to book with me.

When we do get to work together, my goal is to get to know you as much as possible and to meet you where you need to be met. Here are some additional ways I practice consent throughout our time together.

01/ I always ask for consent before I get in your personal space.

Personal space is personal space. A lot of people have trauma they don’t disclose to me and I will never ask for anyone to disclose that with me before working together. Because I don’t always know someone’s history, I always ask for consent before entering someone’s personal space. This means asking you if I can adjust your hair. This means asking you if I can adjust your underwear. This means telling you where I am and what I am photographing if your eyes are closed.

Part of being Trauma Informed means truly asking myself, “is what I am about to do going to be clear and make sense to my client?” “Is what I am about to do going to make them feel okay?” If I am ever unsure, I verbalize this and ask my client.

Always give your client the opportunity to speak up for themselves.

02/ I always let you know that at any point throughout the shoot, you can let me know if something doesn’t feel totally in alignment with you; poses, what you’re wearing, etc.

This is YOUR shoot. I am here to ensure you feel amazing and that includes being sure to give you the space to speak up. And I’ll do that often throughout the session. I’ll ask things like “How are you feeling?” “Is this pose okay for you?” “Do you have any ideas I might have missed?”

And at the beginning of the session I’ll even encourage you to let me know if something ever feels “off” for you. Why? Because not everyone wants the same thing from their session.

Believe it or not, not everyone wants photos with their butt up in the air and wearing heels and yada yada yada. Some people want that, but as a photographer, it is wrong for me to make that assumption.

Lucky for you, I already have a good sense of who you are, your “why” and what you are wanting to get out of this session. So when I check in at the start about poses and things you do and don’t want to do, you’ll already have a good idea of that that is. And if you don’t that’s okay! We take it slow throughout the session.

03/ We move slow during the session.

You are my only client of the day. This is for me and this is for you.

I work with clients who range in age from 22 all the way to 75. It’s not a race to the finish line.

I don’t enjoy feeling like I have to cram 80 poses into one single outfit and I decided, I am not longer going to go at my max speed. I will take breaks when I need to sip water, use the bathroom, etc. the same way I would offer that to you, my client.

I also like to give myself the time to process what’s happening when we work together, this way, I can be the best possible throughout the session. Everyone has different energy that they bring to the shoot and I need to actually process that when we’re working together. Sometimes that means I need to take a 30 second break to gather my thoughts on what I want to do next.

This also gives YOU the space to process what’s going on. I’ve photographed thousands of people but chances are, this is your very first shoot. It’s a lot to take in.

I am not saying we’re going to sit in silence and take deep breaths- though we totally can. What this usually looks like is us having a natural conversation about something totally silly and random and we’re gonna enjoy that moment and not feel like we’re “wasting time from the session”.

04/ I am the only person present during the session.

No one like surprises, including myself.

This means that I am the only photographer during the session and I do not work with assistants of any kind. You never have to worry if someone you don’t know will be at the session with us, because they won’t!

This also means I kindly ask you do not invite any well-intended friends or sisters or moms to your session. Obviously, your comfort is my priority so if there are circumstances that require you to have a support buddy there at the session, we can work around that but we set some boundaries. The boundaries being that the buddy needs to be respectful of our time working together and that when I am shooting, I am the one giving the direction. No interjections with pose ideas (unless they are yours), no speaking over me to tell you what to do, no questioning your clothing / lingerie choices etc. If your buddy can sit and be present with you and supportive of the dynamic of the two of us working together, then we are Gucci.

Otherwise, I ask that no friends / sisters / moms come to your session. Even the most well-intended pals can make a session weird. They can be distracting or project their own insecurities onto you. They can make strange requests that make sense for them and not you, which can make things feel a bit uncomfy. They can simply just change the entire vibe.

I work really hard at the service and experience I provide and sometimes a third party can make it feel a bit “off”. This is why I highly encourage a no buddy policy for your session.

And if you need an emotional support buddy, please ask me and give me a heads up the same way you’d want to be given a heads up at someone you don’t know coming to your session!

05/ I’ll never share your photos.

Unless you give me consent to.

It really doesn’t get any clearer than that. You don’t want your photos shared? No problem, just sign our release stating that 0 images can be shared from the session.

Maybe you don’t mind if a few images are shared. Makes sense! You can give explicit consent on specific photos you consent to having shared.

What you decide to do, let it be your choice. Really think it over, too. In 5 years, will it matter if these images were shared on my website or instagram? Will it feel soul crushing? Ask yourself the hard hitting questions and make your decision then.

An amazing photographer will always keep you and your needs at the center of your session. PERIOD.

Go for the photographer that makes you feel excited and inspired- not the cheapest photographer.

Go for the photographer who you respect- not the cheapest photographer.

Go for the photographer who seems like they are admired and respected in their community- not the cheapest photographer.

Go for the photographer who talks about THIS STUFF